In Retrospect
As I meditate upon Your things,
To my heart a gladness it brings,
For You are all my worldly joy,
And up, my spirit, You always buoy.
The mountaintop experience
Where You have brought deliverance,
Rings in my memory so high,
And brings a teardrop to my eye.
You’ve done so many Divine things,
To take me flying on holy wings,
That I cannot a future see,
Alone, afraid, without Thee.
I’ve taken a look back to see
All that You had done for me,
Before You became my One and All,
And I had answered Your Holy call.
I had been Your beloved before,
Only I did not know the score
Of Your deep love held all for me,
I was too blind then, yet to see.
I was on a destructive course,
But You were my Holy, saving force.
You kept me from death’s door many times,
Kept me out of trouble of all kinds.
I didn’t know You weren’t in the hole
That was the empty thing, my soul.
I had dug myself into a pit,
And knew only that I was not fit.
But You, Your love, has different eyes,
And You saw me beneath my disguise,
As a precious gem, redeemable,
In Your Holy hands, so capable.
You lifted me out of my dark hold,
Brought me warmth, took away the cold.
You washed me new in Jesus’ blood,
And then, only then, I understood,
The love of a Father, so true,
That all along it had been all You
Who had kept this lost and lonely waif
Alive and well and always safe.
You have captured my heart, so dear,
And brought me joy and brought me tears,
For the Holy love of a lifetime,
That only now I know is mine.
I sing Your praises loud and clear,
For all the world to listen and hear
What a faithful God we have above,
And the length He’ll go to show His love,
A God Who no distinction brings,
But is good and righteous in all things,
A God Who wants His people’s love
So much, He shed His own Son’s blood,
A God, it’s a privilege, a joy
To celebrate, obey, enjoy,
A Father, Who, in His own right
Gives blind beggars back their sight.
copyright 2008 by Brenda LaVelle
Always, in all ways, to God the honor and glory!
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About Brenda LaVelle
I have been a Christian since Jesus called me to the altar in 1996. I live in Dalton, Georgia with my Chorkie, Jitterbug, and my three cats, Sylvester, Pearl, and Spike. I attend Christ Community Church and am a full-time caretaker for my 88 year-old landlady whom I have rented from for the past 22 years. I feel that Jesus has called me to serve Him by being His hands and feet to people in need.I used to write poems about death and dying in my younger, suicidal years. They just always mysteriously “came” to me. Then the poems stopped for many years. I got into recovery from alcohol and drug addiction in 1986 and have been clean and sober ever since. At that time I went on a ten-year quest for “God.” He found me in that pew on a Sunday morning just before my forty-third birthday. I gave my life to Jesus that morning and started a relationship with Him. I had journaled off and on for most of my life and I started journaling with God. I seem to communicate best on paper. In 2000 I had a complete nervous breakdown and had to quit work and go on disability. That was a great blow to me and I asked God, “Why?” Soon He let me understand that the reason for that was so that I could work on my relationship with Him. I had the time now to study my Bible, get involved in my church, help other people, but mostly spend more time with Him.I started going to bed early so I could get up between four and five in the morning to go right to God in my journal and spend an hour or more there with Him. Then I would spend another hour or more in prayer and meditation. I have quite a few meditation books I am fond of, my favorites being My Utmost For His Highest and Streams in the Desert.To me, my relationship with God is the most precious thing in my life, and the early morning hours are the first fruit of my day that I want to give to Him. He gives me His best and I want to give Him my best and my first. He is my First, Second, and Third; the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. May it always remain so!My relationship with God has just grown and grown over these past eight years and although I have encountered many trials, He has been faithful and true and taught me many valuable lessons. Last year about this time, after a very traumatic period in my life, I asked God in my journaling to let me start writing again, this time for His honor and glory. Almost immediately, within a day or two, during my journaling, poems just started flowing onto the pages of my journal, about and for God.I call my poems “Poems From God,” because it is like His is literally “giving” them to me! I do some editing and refining sometimes and some actual thinking about what is coming next, but the Holy Spirit is just pouring these words into my hand and onto the paper. GOD IS AWESOME! My prayer is that you will see Him in and through my words. He has given me my trademark phrase: Always, in all ways, to God the honor and glory!With love in ChristBrenda LaVelle
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