IT HURTS MORE NOW

By Anne Dahlhauser, www.openbookgirls.com

sometimes
I want to sink to my knees
and cry.

sometimes
at the end of the day
I wonder if it wouldn’t be easier
to never know of these lives,
to maybe hide behind a tall fence and manicured lawn
and only read about such brokenness
on some
woman’s blog.

it hurts more now.
I pray more now.

lately, it’s been one situation after the other.
I’m beyond
myself.
I pray for these lives.

because
the fear in their voices was unmistakable
when they talked about him – dad.
I know they didn’t want to go home.
I pray
for security and peace
and for the assurance of their Heavenly Dad.

because
I sensed her pain and defeat -
the betrayal of a husband
who would rather be elsewhere.
I pray
for physical help for her and her kids,
and for comfort in the arms of the Lord.

because
my eyes followed him home,
and I wish I could’ve run after him -
protected him
shielded him from the anger.
I pray
for angels to surround him, that God
would be the Father to the fatherless.

tears threaten
and my throat hurts with sadness.
I want to fix the pain
protect the children
defend the women
show hope –

and so I pray with all my heart,
knowing the
Great Healer,
Protector,
Defender
and Hope for all nations
is listening.

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