She Said, He Said (It Better): How Women Can Get Better at Singing Our Own Praises…and Get Ahead in the Workplace
A
new study reveals that men are better than women at talking up their
accomplishments, a factor causing women to be overlooked in the
workplace. Vickie Milazzo teaches women the art of confidently
positioning their achievements and abilities and sets them on the path
to wicked success.
HOBOKEN, NJ – We all know men
overwhelmingly populate the higher echelons of the business world. And
most of us agree on the reasons why: sexism, a history of repression,
the “Mommy track,” and so forth. But a new study
conducted by researchers from several business schools, including
Columbia University Business School, suggests there might be another
reason for the shortage of women in high-level positions: we just don’t
exaggerate enough.
“The study indicates that men tend to exaggerate their
accomplishments more than women do, and thus they gain an edge when
competing for corporate positions,” says Milazzo, author of the
New York Times
bestseller,
Wicked Success Is Inside Every Woman (Wiley, 2011, ISBN: 978-1-1181-0052-3, $21.95, WickedSuccess.com).
“That doesn’t mean men lie during job interviews or performance
reviews—but it does mean they exhibit a lot more confidence in workplace
situations. They’re not afraid to sing their own praises.”
Women, she adds, tend to give very barebones feedback on their
accomplishments. In this regard, it’s time for us to think (and act)
more like men. Wicked success awaits many women, but they have to
position themselves in the right way in order to open the door to bigger
and better opportunities.
Milazzo explains that women are already losing ground to their
male competition as early as the salary negotiation phase of a job
interview. In fact, a recent article in
The New Yorker
revealed that only 7 percent of women negotiate their salaries up-front
when entering a new position…compared to 57 percent of men.
Women may think they’re doing their employers a favor by not
pushing for more, or that they’ll be more appealing if they don’t ask
for what they’re worth, says Milazzo. But underpricing can actually
cause women to lose credibility with employers.
“When I’m hiring, I actually weed out candidates who underprice
themselves because I assume they won’t perform at the level I expect,”
she says. “It makes me view those candidates as commodities—employees
who are easy to obtain and easy to replace. You look dispensable, and
that’s not a quality that is going to help you move up in the ranks of
any organization.”
Milazzo’s new book promises to provide women with the
encouragement they need to go after wicked success. The book’s advice is
sure to push women to think in more exaggerated and uncommon ways. It’s
a “buck-up” book with a buck-up plan for women ready to take back
control of their lives and careers.
“To match the success men can have in the business world, women
need to be comfortable with talking about their achievements,” says
Milazzo. “It’s not about lying or over exaggerating. It’s about ultra
positioning. Clearly, we females need to take a page from the male
playbook and make sure that we’re getting the recognition and credit
we’ve earned. If you still have doubts, consider that announcing your
accomplishments
validates the investments others have made in you. Your boss, for
example, wants to know that she bet on a winner when she hired you!”
Because the act of properly positioning your wicked success
might be a little foreign to you, Milazzo offers help. Below she
comments on a few common scenarios for women in business and discusses
how a little change in what you say can lead to a big change in your
career.
The Job Interview:You’ve
been the top salesperson three years running at your current job.
You’re interviewing for a sales training position at a different
company, a big boost for your career.
The Modest Way:“I’ve
been given many opportunities at Acme. They’ve trusted me with a lot of
great accounts and as a result, I’ve been able to steadily increase my
sales numbers over the years.”
The Manly Way:
“I’ve been our top salesperson three years running. I’ve consistently
improved my sales numbers each year and constantly exceed my sales
goals. More importantly, in addition to my great sales numbers, my
customers give the highest customer satisfaction scores at Acme.”
“Remember,”
says Milazzo, “when you’re in a job interview or a performance review,
the person interviewing you wants to know how great you are. They want
to know what you can achieve and what you have achieved. If you’ve got
the credentials to back up what you’re saying, go ahead and sing your
praises!”
The Complimenting CEO:Your company’s CEO just complimented you on a successful presentation, which helped bring in a new client.
The Modest Way:“Thank you! But I can’t take all the credit. My team did most of the work.”
The Manly Way:
“Thank you! The client’s positive reaction really made all those long
nights and early mornings worth it. At first the team wasn’t confident
the approach I came up with would work, but overtime they really started
to buy into my vision. I’m just pleased our hard work paid off and we
were able to get a big win for the company.”
“From
Day One, you should be doing everything you can to ensure that you
aren’t seen as interchangeable or dispensable,” says Milazzo. “Don’t
shrink into your chair and become the invisible employee. Do what you
need to do to stand out. Get in the middle of everything and bring new
ideas to the table. If you’re able to make yourself invaluable and
leverage the things that make you unique, you’ll also make yourself
impossible to replace.”
The High-Maintenance Customer:A
customer seems to have doubts about your abilities to take care of his
latest order. He calls for the thousandth time to micromanage you.
The Modest Way:
“I understand your concerns. Don’t worry, my manager will be double
checking all of your order details to ensure everything is perfect.”
The Manly Way:
“I understand completely how important this order is for your business.
I’ve triple checked all the details, and I’ll be going down to the
warehouse myself to make sure it’s filled correctly. In my 10 years with
ABC Company, I haven’t shipped an incorrect order yet, and I am not
going to start with yours!”
“Even
veteran businesswomen can be taken aback by unexpected aggression or
resistance,” says Milazzo. “When dealing with a tough customer, always
remind yourself that you are dealing with another human being and that
you have something valuable to offer. As I’ve built my business over the
years, whenever I’ve had to go up against a pit bull, I’ve taken a walk
and role-played with my husband Tom, who can be a pit-bull himself. I
anticipate every possible objection and
get myself into a Zen-like state. When it comes time to meet with that
person, I am centered and ready. I know that if I allow myself to be
intimidated or provoked instead of remaining calm and professional, I’ll
never get the respect I want from that person.”
The Performance Review:In
a performance review, your direct boss expresses what a great job
you’ve been doing and sets a goal for you to improve on your customer
satisfaction rates.
The Modest Way:
“I see that I need to work harder. I’m sorry that my customer
satisfaction rates have been disappointing. I’ll certainly do everything
I can to meet this new goal.”
The Manly Way:“I’ve
been working very hard, and I am glad that you see it reflected in my
sales numbers. I love my clients so I welcome the opportunity to make
them even happier.”
“It
can be hard for women to toot their own horns,” says Milazzo. “To a
certain extent, we’re actually wired to nurture and care for others and
to put the good of the whole over our own personal interests. While
these impulses aren’t inherently bad, it’s time for a newsflash: if you
don’t announce your own achievements, you can bet that no one else is
going to do it for you. With humility, make sure that you’re keeping
your name, your accomplishments,
and your skill set in front of everyone. Welcome challenges to improve
and when you reach those goals make sure people know about it.”
The Team Leader: You’ve been selected to head up an important R&D team. At the first team meeting, you introduce yourself to the team.
The Modest Way:
“I’m looking forward to working with all of you. I just hope my
expertise can match up to the stellar achievements that you all bring to
the table. If you think I’m leading the team astray, please don’t be
afraid to ask me to take a backseat.”
The Manly Way:“R&D
is something I’m very passionate about. My last team and I were able to
create a product that is now the number one seller for the company. I’m
confident that I can lead this team to the same success and I look
forward to working with all of you.”
“A
big part of moving forward in your career is showing that you can be an
effective leader,” says Milazzo. “For many women, I think the first
step toward becoming an effective leader is realizing that you can’t be
everyone’s friend. You have to set a course for people and you have to
do with confidence. They have to trust that it’s a good idea to follow
you. You won’t achieve that trust by pandering to them. You can only do
it by proving yourself worthy
of their respect through your own list of achievements and your
confidence in your abilities.”
The Pay Raise Conundrum:In a performance review, your boss asks you if you think you deserve a raise.
The Modest Way: “I’ve worked hard this year, but I think it’s best if you decide whether my accomplishments are worthy of a raise.”
The Manly Way:
“I’ve played a key role in developing loyal customers and bringing in
new business for the company during a difficult economic period. Given
my extremely positive performance review, I certainly think I deserve to
be compensated for the hard work I’ve been putting in.
“Again,
never underprice yourself,” says Milazzo. “When you do so, you diminish
your accomplishments and you diminish the role you play within the
company. When you’re given opportunities to put a number on your
importance within a company, take them. Be reasonable, but be bold in
explaining why you deserve the amount suggested.”
“Don’t let anyone—including yourself—forget just how much
you’re bringing to the table,” says Milazzo. “The men you’re competing
against for positions certainly won’t. Practice talking about your
achievements. Be proud of your strengths and abilities and learn to
compellingly express them to others. When you can master the art of
positioning yourself in an appealing way, you’ll unleash wicked success
that
can push you to the top.”
About the Author:
Vickie Milazzo, RN, MSN, JD, is the author of the
New York Times
bestseller
Wicked Success Is Inside Every Woman
(Wiley, 2011, ISBN: 978-1-1181-0052-3, $21.95, WickedSuccess.com).
From a shotgun house in New Orleans to owner of a $16-million business,
Milazzo shares the innovative suc¬cess strategies that earned her a
place on the Inc. list of Top 10 Entrepre¬neurs and Inc. Top 5000
Fastest-Growing Companies in America.
Vickie is the owner of Vickie Milazzo Institute, an education company she founded in 1982. Featured in the
New York Timesas the pioneer of a new profession, she built a professional association of 5,000 members.
Vickie has been featured or profiled in numerous publications, including the
New York Times, Entrepreneur, Woman’s Day, Success Magazine,
Houston Chronicle, Ladies’ Home Journal, Texas Bar Journal, Los Angeles
Times, Philadelphia Inquirer,
and in more than 220 newspapers. Vickie has appeared on national radio
and TV, including Fox & Friends and the National Public Radio
program
This I Believe
and more than 200 national and local radio stations.
She is the author of the
Wall Street Journal
bestseller
Inside Every Woman: Using the 10 Strengths You Didn’t Know You Had to Get the Career and Life You Want Now.
Vickie is recognized as a trusted mentor and dynamic role model by tens
of thousands of women, a distinction that led to her national
recognition as the Stevie Awards’ Mentor of the Year.Vickie
was recognized as the Most Innovative Small Business by Pitney Bowes’s
Priority magazine and received Susan G. Komen’s Hope Award for
Ambassadorship. Author, educator, and nationally acclaimed speaker, this
multimillionaire entrepreneur shares her vast experience with thousands
of women.
About the Book:
Wicked Success Is Inside Every Woman(Wiley, 2011, ISBN: 978-1-1181-0052-3, $21.95, WickedSuccess.com) is available at bookstores nationwide and from major online booksellers.
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