Many of us don’t understand the full meaning of grace. We think of grace as a girl’s name or a church word and don’t really understand the full impact of God’s grace on our lives. But the whole foundation of our faith centers on the concept of grace so let’s explore what’s so amazing about grace.

Grace is Unearned – If we could earn salvation the way we work for and earn a salary, grace wouldn’t be necessary. Grace isn’t dependent on our jumping through endless hoops or completing enough steps. There are no badges to earn or courses to pass. We are justified, made right with God, by grace. The only thing required on our part is acceptance of God’s grace through faith. Ephesians 2:8 says, for by grace you have been saved through faith.

Those who structure their lives around completing steps on a checklist often have a difficult time accepting the idea that grace is unearned. For them, work (community service or church activities) equals reward (recogniti...

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Most of us have lots of options when we need advice. We can discuss problems with friends, a spouse, a minister, or siblings, but as parents age, we may lose them as confidants and sources of wisdom. Even the advice of those we respect may be flawed to some degree by their humanness. Sometimes, we seek counsel from those we know will validate our poor choices rather than looking to those who will respond with truth. But what if we had access to a counselor who never makes mistakes, who always counsels with wisdom and understanding?

We do! Isaiah 9:6 lists one of Jesus’ names as “Wonderful Counselor.” For years, I thought there was a comma between those two words, making “Wonderful” and “Counselor” two separate names for Jesus. When I finally realized the words went together, the full impact of Jesus as Counselor became even more apparent. In fact, 1 Kings 22:5b (NIV) says, “Seek first the counsel of the Lord.”

Following are some reasons Jesus is our best Counselor and Ad...

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In a caregiving role, and in other aspects of life, we often encounter critics who readily present us with an in-depth critique of all we're presently doing wrong or have failed to do previously. Often your chief critic is a family member who does little to help but is an expert at dishing out criticism and messing with your mind. It never occurs to critics that you might be drowning in a sea of responsibilities and they could offer assistance instead of slathering you with criticism. So how do you cope? Following are some observations.

• Criticism is rooted in envy. Often those who are the most critical have a poor self-image, are jealous of you or some element of your life, and enjoy dragging you down in order to elevate themselves. We all have difficulties in life so it's hard to imagine that someone could be envious of your life with all its challenges, but they often are. Critical comments are sometimes disguised as an effort to keep the one targeted on t...

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All families have things they don't discuss. But as our parents age, there are often long-buried emotional scars that rise to the surface and beg to be addressed. Our fathers may harbor explosive remnants of wartime horrors. For others, it is flashbacks of abuse, abandonment, or poverty. And a history of suicide dangles in the family closet of more people than most imagine. So how to do cope with family scars and move forward?

When emotional scars fester and come to the forefront, you have the option of burying them again, or accepting the difficult task of bringing them out in the open. Here are some ways to approach and deal with emotional scars:

Acknowledge fears – Fear is one of life’s primary emotions and is an underlying, often unrecognized, reason for actions and reactions. A person who holds himself at a distance emotionally may be dealing with intangible fears of feeling violated and vulnerable. Some of our depression-era parents struggle with f...

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Forgiveness: the very tenant of our Christian faith; yet, a concept many find difficult to grasp and execute in everyday life. Whether the product of pride, indifference, or fear, unforgiveness ruins relationships, breeds anger, and renders happiness illusive. Unforgiveness blocks relationships with God and others. Although not without effort, the benefits of forgiveness are attainable.

Common Misconceptions about Forgiveness

Forgiveness equals weakness. Jesus forgave the unrepentant, taking the complete responsibility of forgiveness. In worldly view, this seems like weakness, but Jesus showed the greatest strength imaginable by forgiving those who mocked him.

Forgiveness gives up control. Refusing to forgive gives the offending person control over your emotions. Unforgiveness causes us to lose our right standing with God. To ensure a relationship with God, forgive others as God forgave you.

Forgiveness risks additional hurt. There is no guarantee you won’t g...

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“Love” is probably one of the most misused, abused, and confused words of all time. People employ the L-word to gain everything from money to sexual favors. Newspaper “connections” columns list rows of hungry souls in search of love. Similar services advertised on television promise to help us find “true” love and imply that there is a specific formula. If you insert the correct information in the proper blanks, shake, and stir, the name of the perfect person rises to the top and you’ll live happily ever after. But we all know there is more to love than filling out a survey.

The emphasis on love and the significant role it plays in our lives is nothing new. Love was such a major concept for ancient Greeks they assigned four separate names to the issue of loving and being loved – agape, philia, storge, eros.

Presentation

In French cooking, presentation is everything. A tiny portion of meat is festooned with garnish or a dessert plate is enhanced wi...

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Interpersonal conflict is nothing new. We all have sources of conflict in our lives that are either on-going, or just around the corner. Genesis records the struggle between brothers Jacob and Esau. Often, the greatest conflict is between family members, motivated by jealousy or greed.

Conflict is fueled by a number of factors including personality types. Understanding personality types helps you realize why you have conflict with certain people.

The choleric personality is aggressive, demanding, loud, and rarely at fault. Cholerics are brusque and matter-of-fact, wounding others with their words without realizing it.

The sanguine personality is people-oriented. A sanguine never meets a stranger and usually has multiple best friends. Sanguines are fun to be around, but often hard to converse with on a serious level. While they’re quick to volunteer, they frequently forget or wimp out on what they’ve promised to do.

The melancholy personality is analytical,...

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Long-distance caregiving presents a different and more complicated set of challenges. The ability to drop by and check on parents daily, or even several times a week, is an impossibility. Daily care must come through agencies, other family members, friends, neighbors, or hired caregivers, and sometimes, entrusting your parent’s care to others is fraught with problems.

Our aging parents can become targets for unscrupulous individuals, particularly when there isn’t a family member on-site. Guarding your parent from fraudulent offers, untrustworthy professionals, and thieves presents one of the greatest challenges to caregiving long distance. But there are some things you can do to deter this type of activity:

• Arrive unannounced to get a better view of day-to-day care.
• Make it clear to caregivers that they are not to leave neighbors, their own friends or relatives, or others alone with your parent, or allow them access to other parts of the house.
• Remove ...

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Years ago, a catchy little tune filled the airwaves. An island beat punctuated the lyrics, “Don’t worry; be happy.” While these words are easy to sing, they are more difficult to practice. World events, natural disasters, financial difficulties, and fear often crowd our thoughts and feed anxiety. Are you a worrier? Following are some worry precipitators and ways to overcome them.

EXPECTING THE WORST

“Is everybody all right? Have you heard from Jim? Have you heard from the children? Are their classes hard? Oh, I hope not. I’m worried about how much pressure they’re under.”

My conversation with my mother began as many of them do, with her worry and anxiety spilling through the phone line. Some days, no amount of reassurance calms her anxiety. I often joke that I don’t have to worry because I have two people who do all my worrying for me. My mother and her sister worry enough to cover any concerns I have.

Many of us fall into a negative mode that expects the wo...

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Shorter days, dismal weather, and the let-down from holiday festivities often cause spirits to plummet during winter months. The warmth and carefree joys of summer seem far away. If winter makes you wish you could hibernate like a grizzly bear, you’re not alone. An estimated 10 million Americans suffer a condition know as SAD – Seasonal Affective Disorder. Often termed “Winter Blues,” the depression associated with SAD strikes adults and children alike.

Causes

SAD is temporary, and not the same as clinical depression. SAD appears to result from an over-production of melatonin, a sleep-related hormone secreted by the pineal gland in the brain. The body responds to decreased light from shorter winter days by producing excess melatonin, which acts as a tranquilizer. Ordinarily, the bright light of sunrise triggers the cessation of melatonin production, but in the winter the decreased intensity of natural light fails to halt production during daylight hour...

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